Chayei Sarah
בראשית פרק כג (ח) וַיְדַבֵּר אִתָּם לֵאמֹר אִם יֵשׁ אֶת נַפְשְׁכֶם לִקְבֹּר אֶת מֵתִי מִלְּפָנַי שְׁמָעוּנִי וּפִגְעוּ לִי בְּעֶפְרוֹן בֶּן צֹחַר:
רש"י: (ח) נפשכם - רצונכם:
Bereishis 23:8: He said to them, “If it is your wish that I remove my dead for burial, agree to intercede for me with Ephron son of Tzohar. Rashi: נפשכם means YOUR WILL.
The word “nafshechem,” literally “your nefesh, your self,” is defined by Rashi to mean your will, your true desire. In other words, if we are searching to find our true selves, we need to search no further than examining our desires. We are what we want.
How do we determine what is a true desire, our real ratzon, or just an impulse or superficial preference? I can suggest two ways, both of which require thought. First, since Chazal taught, “The way that a person wants to go, he will be lead,” we can discern our true desires by seeing where we are and what we have. Since we are promised that we will be led towards our true desires, what we have or are on the way to getting, is the true manifestation of what we really wanted. This I heard from Rav Wolbe, z”l.
Secondly, as we see in the pasuk above, Avraham had a desire to see Sarah Imeinu brought to burial, so he devised an ordered plan to achieve it—speak to the Bnei Ches, have them speak to Ephron, then Avraham will speak to him, then he will negotiate with Ephron and basically agree to whatever financial terms he requests. Avraham began by seeing if the Bnei Ches shared his desire, so he asked them to facilitate the first step in the plan of action. He told them, “im yesh es nafshechem,” if this is what you really want, who you really are, then please take the following steps.
In other words, if we profess to seriously want something, then we will have an orderly plan to achieve it. This has been the subject of Rav Wolbe’s talmid, Rav Reuvain Leuchter, shlita, over the past several weeks. His proof is from the words we say in the first bracha of Shema at Maariv, that Hashem is “mesader es hakochavim b’mishmaroseihem, kirtzono—He orders the stars in their heavenly constellations according to His will.” Where there is true ratzon, there is true seder, an orderly plan. Otherwise, it is not really our will, or who we really are, it is just a wish or a dream.
Something to think about: What do we profess to want? If so, do we have a plan?
Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Goldberg